Money Blue Book

I can’t help it. I’m attracted to and fascinated by trashy reality television shows – the bigger the train wreck, the better. My newest reality fixation is Bravo TV’s new millionaire dating show called The Millionaire Matchmaker. This show could easily be the next logical step up for those party girls from MTV’s Super Sweet 16, which I previously wrote about.

The Millionaire Matchmaker features feisty Los Angeles matchmaker Patti Stanger who runs a modern and high end business of helping rich men fulfill their dreams of finding true love and potential wife, and helping gorgeous women marry into millions. On the show, her clientele of wealthy men pay a high fee to be introduced to an exclusive selection of beautiful and smart women, pre-chosen based on their compatibility factors. The men are given access to an array of high end staff of date coaches, personal shoppers, and interior designers to help them improve their personal self appearance and to spruce up the presentation of their millionaire dollar homes. Many of these men are workaholics who are usually too busy with their own careers to find time to date for themselves.

For women, joining the club is free so long as they can pass the high physical appearance requirements and aren’t red flagged as possible gold diggers. From the start, Patti makes it clear that she is no Heidi Fleiss madam and that her agency is not an escort service as she strictly prohibits sex until both parties have entered into a committed, monogamous relationship.

Progressive Female Liberals Need Not Apply

You’re not going to find any feminist trailblazers on this show. What you’ll get is no-nonsense traditional views of what men and women want when it comes to love and relationships, especially when money is no limitation. Caveman tenets of lust, love, and attraction apply – with men being attracted to beauty, youth, and fun; and women being attracted to material possessions, confidence, and power. It’s the age old swap of money for beauty. Just from watching a few episodes, it’s clear that millionaire dollar men feel entitled to a higher standard and quality of women than common folk. As the show astutely points out, millionaires choose women the same way they would order a new car off the lot – they want the perfect, newest trophy model gift wrapped to suit their existing lifestyle without the flaws.

The most entertaining and fun part of the show comes with the crazy bits of wisdom (if you can call it that) that flies out of head matchmaker Patti Stanger’s mouth. She’s a rambunctious firecracker who doesn’t hesitate to lecture and verbally slap her male clients around for their own tough love good, whom she views as misguided little children. I really like her and even though much of what she says can be considered abrasive and shallow, I think there is much hidden truths in what she has to say. She also seems to genuinely care in shaping her eligible millionaire bachelors into successful relationship putty – even if that means she has to ruthlessly critique their flaws to make them understand what’s wrong with their views and why they are unable to settle down into real relationships.

The Show Strongly Reinforces Stereotypical Male and Female View Points

The show perpetuates a timeless and traditional view of men and women that frankly, remains alive and well today. It is this very return to tradition that has been one of Patti Stanger’s keys to success as a matchmaker. She is harsh on both men and women, screening both for the perfect traditional matching qualities. The men are checked to make sure they are truly worth millions and the women are screened carefully to maintain a high physical appearance standard. Many of the show’s millionaire clients come to her with a particular female look already in mind that’s partial towards the young, model-type look. Perhaps as a genuine reflection of the unspoken views of society, the show perpetuates the understanding that what men want the most in women is beauty and youth. What women seem to want the most from men is power and money.

According to Patti’s values for there to be matchmaking success, this means men need to be chivalrous, they need to be generous with their money, and they need to take charge and be confident with women. Females on the other hand are encouraged and taught that they must accentuate their physical qualities – if they have nice “assets” they must flaunt it, they must dress alluringly to appeal to male tastes, and they must show a little leg here and there – basically don’t dress like you’ve just left work. Another disturbing but perhaps real life lesson is that she also lectures women on the need to downplay their own professional accomplishments – basically if you are a doctor, never introduce yourself as one initially – because when it comes down to it, men don’t want to compete in that department.

I Find The Show Entertaining Because It Reflects Many Unspoken Facets and Truths About Societal Views Towards Dating and Relationships

Whether the traditional values promoted by the show are right or wrong is not for me to say, but I think the reality is that despite the modern progress men and women have had in terms of human relations, in many ways we’ve stayed the same. Many commentators have blasted the show for perpetuating traditional stereotypical views of women and I understand why they are upset. But at the same time, the show is about hooking up men and women who want love, not about political correctness. Love is a crazy thing where traditional ideas still hold true.

Even though I think matchmaker Patti Stanger has a narrow view of what men want, I think she is frequently right on point when it comes to her true life assessment of male and female preferences when it comes to dating. Of course her traditional views may be controversial and humorously offensive to some – such as when Patti chided one of her prospective women for having red hair, because as she put it, red hairs are “not the freshest produce in the aisles” (presumably implying that red hair is old school and outdated). Dye it brown she ordered, because men don’t like red hair. If you have curly short hair? Grow it long or get hair extensions and perm it straight because men like hair that is long and straight so they run their fingers through it.

However, the show does seem to promote a worthy abstinence requirement as a way to keep the men’s dating motivations on the up and up (so to speak). Patti imposes a strict no sex policy until a committed relationship has been established. While this almost puritanical policy tries to inject some standards, it doesn’t detract much from the inherent meat market circus of matching up nearly two dozen attractive women with one rich man for his choosing. Then again, is it really all that much different when people post their personal profiles complete with physical attributes onto online dating sites like Yahoo Personals or eHarmony?

The Show Does Teach A Valuable Lesson – Money Does Not Always Buy Love and Happiness

As an ordinary non-millionaire Joe, I actually find some guilty comfort knowing that even millionaires have major trouble in the dating department despite their massive financial fortune. The show reveals that even millionaires can be fault ridden in the love department. The Millionaire Matchmaker’s stars are not the peddled and pimped out women who willingly submit themselves for selection, but rather the sleazy, cocky, and pathetic men that do the picking. In one episode you had one man in his late 40’s who despite his noble assertions of wanting to find true love with an educated and marriage-minded mature woman, still ended up picking the young co-ed nearly 20 years his junior out of the female selection pack despite having nothing social in common with her. Then there was the episode with the one rich guy who ran a successful online sex toy business who could not give up his player lifestyle of throwing female laden house pool parties or removing the “non-offensive” stripper pole bolted in his living room.

Their money might provide them housing comfort and material joy, but it’s also the same corrupting influence that clouds their proprieties and explains why they insist on finding their trophy sugar babes rather than their more age appropriate soul mates. Entertainment aside, the show does demonstrate that money doesn’t really buy true happiness. However, it will allow you to buy access into the Millionaire’s Club to meet plenty of long and straight haired young women, who are eager for you to lavish them with material attention – for the short term at least.

Check out Patti’s Commandments Of Dating for both men and women. Prepare to be entertained, offended, and dumbfounded at the same time. Her views really reflect on the current dynamics of male and female wants and expectations. Here is a sample of one of her thought provoking dating tips directed at women:

Once you have decided you like a specific male and you have gone out with him four times, it is important to show your appreciation and reciprocate. But do not offer to outright pay for something: once a woman touches money/credit card in front of a male she becomes masculine energy, which is undesirable. But this does not preclude showing thanks by purchasing him a CD, book, theater or concert tickets, just don’t do it in his presence. Offering to cook a meal for him is an exceptional, appreciative gesture. The number one small request a wealthy man makes of a woman is a good old-fashioned home cooked meal.

Masculine energy? Haha! Great stuff!

I would like to wish my readers and my lovely girl a Happy Valentine’s Day! For those of you who don’t have a clue where to take your Valentine’s date, I recommend The Melting Pot, a classy fondue restaurant. Fondue is basically a communal type of dinner meal shared around an earthenware pot cooked over a small burner at your table. The light fondue cheese mix inside the pot is usually cooked with traces of wine and kept warm while diners use specially pronged forks to dip bread and other bits of food into it. Although it’s deliciously fun, the dining experience can be rather expensive.

Love May Be Cheap, But Fondue Isn’t

The Melting Pot is definitely not a place for patrons who are financially squeamish about opening up their wallets wide for a rare romantic dinner. On special occasions like Valentine’s Day, expect reservations to be in demand and planned dinner courses for two to cost upwards of $130.00. On other days, the price doesn’t fare all that much better – at around $85 per couple. It’s amazing how high prices soar for love-related events and merchandise during special holiday occasions like Valentine’s Day (just look at the price of online Valentine’s day flowers in my last post).

I’m not really a high end restaurant connoisseur (usually preferring to save my money by going elsewhere), but I’ve been there a few times and enjoyed the food and ambiance. Don’t get me wrong – a dinner at the Melting Pot is incredibly expensive, but for that special someone or for that special annual occasion, I think the experience is worth the financial cost. It’s not a place I could afford to visit every weekend, but I’d much rather spend money on such experiences than on material trinkets that depreciate over time. Just be sure to snap some photos while you’re there to immortalize the memories!

Fondue Restaurants Are a Place For Diners Who Like To Play With Their Food In The Dark

As the restaurant’s website proclaims, fondue is a fun and interactive dining experience. If you’re clumsy at planning romantic outings (like me), a restaurant like the Melting Pot pretty much does it for you. They keep the place very cozy and the lighting very dim to promote and encourage warm fuzzy feelings. The interactive part is where it gets fun. They pour the fondue broth in front of you and provide you with color tabbed skewers that you use to cook the fresh mushroom, garlic chicken, white shrimp, fillet mignon, ravioli, citrus pork tenderloin, and lobster. Sounds tasty doesn’t it?

The reason why I’m reviewing this restaurant chain is because it is where I took my girlfriend to for our very first Valentine’s Day dinner. I had a good time and I think she did too. That’s the stuffed monkey I gave her.

Well it’s mid January and unless you live near the equator or in a southern hemisphere region where seasons are flipped upside down like say, Australia, then it should be getting very cold just about now. Although come to think of it, this year’s temperatures have been strangely and unseasonably warm. Global warming in action perhaps? Well mother nature must have finally heard the call because my area just got dumped today with the season’s first significant snowfall. Temperatures are projected to plunge into the 20’s this weekend. Brrrrr!

If you plan on staying indoors, it’s likely the freezing drop will follow you inside. To combat the frigid winter temperatures, there are four ways to deal with the situation:

1. Turn up the thermostat and pay more in heating costs;
2. Maintain the thermostat at a very low temperature setting and compensate by wearing winter clothing indoors;
3. Turn the master thermostat way down, but use personal space heaters in rooms you’ll be spending most of your time in;
4. Or ameliorate the drafty air problem by installing energy efficient windows to retain more heat, and retrofitting your walls and ceiling with better insulating material.

If You Can’t Upgrade The Insulation, Beat The Cost By Putting On A Sweater and Using A Space Heater

Unless you are extremely well off and money is not an issue, most ordinary folks are concerned with the rising cost of home heating bills. With surging oil and gasoline prices, the cost of heating houses and apartments has become more expensive than in years past. It’s in our own financial interest to find a way to minimize and reign in this seasonal winter expense. But at the same time there has to be a reasonable compromise between cost and comfort. Sure, one way is to shut off all heating devices but then you’ll basically be living in an icy igloo during the winter months. Not a pleasant experience to come home to. Thus, I prefer to use a combination of all four options – keep the thermostat setting low but at the same time place personal space heaters in commonly occupied rooms that need them the most. If you own your own home, I recommend refitting your doors and windows with more energy efficient models, but if you rent, you probably don’t have the luxury of making significant alterations. Since a lot of heat is lost through window cracks, one cheap and simple way to help them retain heat is to place towels along the window sills, thereby sealing off cracks where drafty air can seep through.

I generally try to keep the heating thermostat set at around 68 degrees during the winter. Luckily, I live in a new apartment complex that was built with energy cost and efficient insulation in mind. Despite the recent frigid temperatures in the last few days, my primary heater’s only kicked on a handful of times. My storm windows are impressively well insulated and able to keep the natural warm air in, while efficiently blocking out the arctic chill.

It might feel great to run your central heater non-stop but you’ll end up paying for the cost. I recommend using a little common sense – exchange some of that expensive warm air for a simple sweater. To stay warm on a budget, simply put on extra layers and bundle up your exposed extremities – your feet in particular. Wearing sandals, scarves, socks, and bunny slippers can help keep your body warm as well. Remember, it is winter after all – so you really shouldn’t be setting the meter so high to the point where you’re walking around the house in your shorts.

I got a sudden phone call from my friend yesterday. His stunned voice said it all – he and his newlywed wife had just become victims of an attempted home burglary. The shocking part is that he and his wife were home at the time sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. Their early morning meal was interrupted by a sudden loud banging noise from the direction of their back porch – sounds made by someone knocking on the door. The tapping sound was quickly followed by the chilling clang of breaking glass and creaking window latches. Within moments my friend dashed to the back door and caught the glimpse of the male intruder. Startled by the appearance of the home’s occupants, the stranger hastily retreated on foot, leaving behind broken glass and evidence of his attempted break in.

Home Invasion Robbery Is A Crime Of Opportunity and We Can Do Something About It

The good news is that there are common sense steps we can all take to drastically reduce our chances of having our houses, apartments, or condos burglarized. Looking back in greater depth with my friend, he and I both realized that he had committed a series of crucial home maintenance mistakes that made him a bullseye target for such activity. Since moving into the old Northwest Washington D.C. house a month ago after taking it over from his remaining parent who had just passed away, he failed and neglected to immediately fix up and repair the home’s exterior upkeep. The grass had grown high and newspaper deliveries were being piled outside and not picked up properly. The rickety fence gate was not properly latched shut and the house simply invited opportunism. Home burglaries are frequently crimes of opportunity and can occur when you’re away at work or on vacation. Someone who cased my friend’s house may have believe it was unoccupied. He was very fortunate that he was home that day to scare the attempted burglar away. However, we should all learn from his mistake and follow this list of ways to lesson our chances of becoming a home invasion victim.

Tips Homeowners Can Use to Keep Their Home Free and Safe From Invasion

1. Defend Your Home Like An Onion, Not An Egg – A great deal of home invasions occur during the day when you’re simply at work, and not just when you’re on vacation or away for extended periods of time. Because you can never fully burglar-proof your home completely, your goal should be to increase the path of resistance it takes to break in. One powerful level of defense (egg shell) is not enough to protect against burglars. Your goal should be to create multiple levels of security (onion layers) to thwart the attempts and scrutiny of potential burglars.
2. Make Your Home Look Lived In – Burglars are usually less likely to rob a home they think is currently occupied. On the whole, burglars want the path of least resistance and prefer targets where they know the residents are away. It’s best to generate live-in activity to give the impression that people are still coming and going from the home.
3. Put A Radio and Your Lights On A Programmable Timer – Lights that remain lit day and night is an indication that no one is home. You can easily buy a small programmable timer from Home Depot or Lowes, and set it so that lamps can automatically turn on in the evening and off in the mornings. You might also consider installing lighting controlled by motion sensor. Nothing makes an intruder’s heart jump more than lights that suddenly flicker on. Burglars also tend to avoid noisy homes since it’s an indication that someone may be home. Rather than play a static, fluid noise like music, I recommend putting a noisy talk radio station on timer to come on throughout the day to offer the illusion of occupancy.
4. Hang Your Blinds and Curtains Strategically – Some people think it’s better to keep them shut while others think it’s better to keep them wide open to give it a lived-in feel. Personally, I think it’s better to keep the first floor drapes and blinds shut to prevent people from peeking in. You may want to keep the upstairs curtains slightly drawn open to expose the lamp light that you’ve set with a timer.
5. Keep Your Home Exterior Properly Maintained – Don’t let shrubs or bushes hide your windows from view as they could be prime jimmy targets. Trim those hedges, cut your grass, and scrub the graffiti off your wooden fence to keep your place well groomed. If you will be gone for a long time, consider hiring someone trustworthy to mow your lawn periodically when you are away.
6. Put Your Mail On Hold When You Are Away For Vacation – Don’t let your mail pile sky high outside your door when you’re away. Accumulated mail as well as magazine and newspaper subscriptions are visible telltale signs that the occupants are not home. With a few quick clicks on the USPS Hold Mail Service website, you can temporarily suspend delivery of your mail while you’re away on vacation.
7. Close and Secure All Windows, Doors, and Gates – This one is just common sense. Please make sure your windows and corresponding latches are bolted on tight. Keep your doors firmly locked and make sure your lawn gate is latched properly.
8. Have A Neighbor Or Friend Check Up On Your Home and Pick Up Your Mail When You’re Away – Asking a trusted neighbor or friend to house sit is a great idea to maintain that lived in illusion. However, just having him or her occasionally stop by to check up on the house is a smart move as well. Remember, in the unfortunate event you are gone for a long time and your home is broke into, it’s better that your neighbor discovers this sooner than later. You don’t want your home further exposed with its broken front door wide open longer than it needs to be.
9. Park A Car In The Driveway When You’re Away For Vacation – Some debate whether leaving your car in the driveway is a good tactic or not, but I personally think it is. You want your home to appear lived in and a car in the driveway helps to give that impression. Another idea is to offer your driveway to a neighbor to use as his or her own parking spot. Remember to remove your garage door opener from your vehicle if you decide to leave the car outside.
10. Get a Dog That Likes To Bark – Dogs that bark at anyone who approaches the home is ideal. Burglars want to remain silent and a live dog alarm will help scare would-be intruders away. Remember to give the dog enough food or better yet, have someone come by regularly to feed it.
11. Consider Installing A Home Security System – If you can afford it, consider installing a home security system like an ADT or Brinks burglar alarm that alerts the police in the event of a break in. Be sure to plaster the alarm warning stickers and signs outside to make them very visible. Even buying and putting up fake alarm stickers and signs may help deter a few criminals.
12. Don’t Tell People You’ll Be Away On Vacation On Your Answering Machine – If you have a home phone number that can be easily traced and located through the phone book or even by a visible “for sale by owner” sign on your front lawn, don’t broadcast the fact you’ll be away on your answering machine. Just say that “you can’t come to the phone right now” and set it to pick up after 4-5 rings to make it really look like you can’t come to the phone at that precise moment.
13. Don’t Hide Your Spare Key Under The Doormat – Does anyone really hide their spare key under the doormat, mailbox, or in one of those silly fake rocks anymore? When I was little, my family buried a spare key in the back yard inside an empty prescription pill bottle more than one foot deep in the backyard under a few bricks among many. Such a method of stashing a spare key only works if it is buried deep in an area with plenty of possible burial locations.
14. Hide Your Valuables In Unsuspecting Places – If all else fails and your home is broken into, be sure your personal and expensive valuables are well hidden, particularly if you will be away for an extended period of time. Since most burglars usually go straight for the master bedroom, I recommend stashing your jewelry and cash in unconventional locations less likely to attract the attention of a home intruder, such as – the laundry room, bathroom, garage, or perhaps even inside your refrigerator – like what this guy did.