Money Blue Book

Have you ever wondered how credit card companies generate all those account numbers that appear on the face of the credit cards you carry around in your wallet? At first glance the numbers, while neatly arranged, appear to be completely random. But would it surprise you to know that there is indeed meaning and actual mathematical methodology to the way the numbers are sequenced? The process of generating real credit card numbers and validating them based on a proven mathematical formula is not only intriguing on an intellectual level, the carefully calculated way the numbers are ordered is actually quite beautiful and elegant when you come to understand how it works.

Before I get down to explaining the anatomy of credit card numbers and discussing how credit card numbers are generated, I think it’s prudent to remind everyone the intent of this article. The goal of this blog post is not to encourage or get people thinking about how to go out and create fake credit card numbers on their own for improper means. The purpose is to shed some light on the science behind the mathematical sequencing technology of valid credit card numbers and offer some insight into something that many of us frequently see and use everyday, but oftentimes don’t pay much attention to.

Please take in the information provided for purely academic and entertainment reasons. I’m not trying to encourage anyone to create fake credit card numbers and get themselves in trouble with the law. For anyone even thinking about engaging in this, keep this in mind - using mathematically generated credit card numbers to purchase products over the Internet or in real life is not only unethical and highly illegal, it’s also not yet technologically possible (yet), based on the sheer probability of long shot odds of 1 in trillions. After reading everything I’m about to say carefully, you’ll also realize that there is no realistic way to generate actual working credit card numbers that could be used for anything but entertainment reasons. The math and science behind generating authentic credit card numbers are only good for validation purposes and not sufficient for creating workable numbers as several highly encrypted numerical components are still needed. So, with that obligatory disclaimer out of the way, here is a short guide on how anyone can generate and verify the authenticity of any credit card number.

Basic Background About Credit Card Numbers and How They Work

Rather than ask you to take out a credit card out of your wallet to examine it, I’ve provided a picture of a prototypical card - in this case, it’s a Visa credit card. While different card types offer different lengths of numerical digits, most major credit card issuers popular in the United States have 16 primary numbers on the front face of the card. Visa, MasterCard, and Discover cards all have 16 digits. American Express is the only major credit card issuer in the U.S. with one less number - at 15 digits. Regardless of the length of numbers, their numerical sequencing is still guided by the same Luhn validation formula, the mathematical check sum equation that makes all valid credit card numbers error free.

As you can see from the picture of the Visa card above, the very first 6 credit card number sequence is known as the issuer identification number (IIN) or bank identification number (BIN). These first 6 numerical digits denote the credit card network and the banking institution the card is a member of. The issuer identifier number also incorporates the card type’s special identifying numerical prefix.

• All typical 16 digit Visa account credit card numbers start with a prefix of 4.
• All 16 digit MasterCard account numbers start with a prefix of 5.
• All 16 digit Discover account numbers start with a prefix of 6011.
• All 15 digit American Express credit card numbers start with a prefix of 37.

There is less randomization during this initial set of 6 digits as the numbers are determined purely by the card issuing source. Validation systems that want to go the extra mile in verifying authenticity oftentimes scan this first numerical sequence to match the known bank and issuing location of the card with the provided customer billing address for further validation accuracy.

The lone digit at the very right end of the complete 15 or 16 digit credit card number sequence is known as the “check digit”, which often is the final number that is computer generated to satisfy the mathematical formulations of the Luhn check sum process. Meanwhile, in between the first 6 digits and the last single check digit is the actual personalized account number - the 8 or 9 digit sequence given by the card issuer. For more basic background information about credit card numbers, check out this credit card features brochure for more useful knowledge about the embossed and printed information found on your typical plastic credit card.

What’s The Secret Behind The Luhn Algorithm, Also Known As The “Modulus 10″ Or “Mod-10″ Formula?

The Luhn Algorithm is the check sum formula used by payment verification systems and mathematicians to verify the sequential integrity of real credit card numbers. It’s used to help bring order to seemingly random numbers and used to prevent erroneous credit card numbers from being cleared for use. The Luhn Algorithm is not used for straight credit card number generation from scratch, but rather utilized as a simple computational way to distinguish valid credit card numbers from random collections of numbers put together. The validation formula also works with most debit cards as well.

The Luhn formula was created and filed as a patent (now freely in the public domain) in 1954 by Hans Peter Luhn of IBM to detect numerical errors found in pre-existing and newly generated identification numbers. Since then, it’s primary use has been in the area of check sum validation, made popular with its use to verify the validity of important sequences such as credit card numbers. Currently, almost all credit card numbers issued today are generated and verified using the Luhn Algorithm or Modulus, Mod-10 Formula. Needless to say, if you come upon some existing credit card numbers that fail the Luhn algorithm when put to the test, it is safe to assume that they are not valid or genuine numbers.

The one thing to keep in mind is that validity in terms of passing the Luhn test only means that it is mathematically valid for computational compliance purposes. It does not guarantee that the credit card number sequence is indeed a working number that is backed up with a valid credit card account on the card issuer’s end. It is not unremarkable for one to artificially generate a mathematically valid credit card number that passes the Luhn validation check, but still ultimately fails as a fake credit card number with no actual substance. The Luhn algorithm only validates the 15-16 digit credit card number and not the other critical components of a genuine working credit card account such as the expiration date and the commonly used Card Verification Value (CVV) and Card Verification Code (CVC) numbers (used to prove physical possession of the debit or credit card).

The Nerdy Process Of Applying The Luhn Algorithm To The Creation and Validation Of Credit Card Number Sequences

For those who hate math or get scared when they encounter a bunch of scary looking mathematical formulas and numerically inspired descriptions, you are not alone. I personally hate math as an academic subject and was rather terrible at it back in high school and college, but if you like visual, thinking puzzles like Sudoku, you’ll like working with the Luhn Algorithm. It’s pretty clever and remarkably well put together. It’s also pretty easy to explain.

1. First, you’ll need to lay out all 15 or 16 numerical digits of the credit or debit card number. The Luhn Algorithm always starts from right to left, beginning with the rightmost digit on the credit card face (the check digit). Starting with the check digit and moving left, double the value of every alternate digit. Non-doubled digits will remain the same. Remember that the check digit is never doubled. For example, if the credit card is a 16 digit Visa card, the check digit would be the rightmost 16th digit. Thus you would double the value of the 15th, 13th, 11th, 9th digits, and so on until all odd digits have been doubled. The even digits would be left the same.
2. For any digit that becomes a two digit number of 10 or more when doubled, add the two digits together. For example, the digit 5 when doubled will become 10, which turns into a 1 (when 1 and 0 are added together). Likewise, the digit 9 when doubled will become 18, which becomes 9 (as 1 and 8 are added together). Obviously, 0 when doubled will remain 0.
3. Now, lay out the new sequence of numbers. The new doubled digits will replace the old digits. Non-doubled digits will remain the same. Thus, you should be able to come up with a new sequence of 15 or 16 numerical digits depending on card type.
4. Add up the new sequence of numbers together to get a sum total. If the combined tally is perfectly divisible by ten (ends in 0, like 60 for example), then the account number is mathematically valid according to the Luhn formula. If not, the credit card number provided is not valid and thus fake or improperly generated.

An Example Of the Luhn Validation Technique In Action - Using Homemade Graphics

For the visual types like myself, let’s use the American Express credit card on the right to better demonstrate the doubling and addition mathematics of the Luhn Algorithm. Follow the numbers and you’ll realize that it’s not as difficult as it may first appear. It’s actually very easy once you get the hang of it. You won’t look at credit card numbers the same way ever again after you get a good grip of it - I assure you. You’ll find yourself testing credit card numbers for fun!

Ignoring the obvious Amex logo on the card, right of the bat it’s clear the account number is that of an American Express number - denoted by the numerical prefix - “37″. Now let’s crunch the numbers through the Luhn Algorithm using the following displayed Amex credit card number: 3759-876543-21001. It doesn’t matter if the credit card number sequence has 15 numbers like the American Express or 16 numbers like Visa, MasterCard, or Discover, the Luhn validation check should be able to verify whether this card number is a mathematically authentic credit card number regardless. Follow the Luhn steps from #1 to #4 below, starting with the rightmost check digit.

In this case, the total calculated sum was 57, which is not divisible by 10 (the added up sum does not end with zero). Thus the number fails the Luhn Algorithm validation check. According to the Luhn test, this particular Amex credit card number is completely bogus and fake. The numbers were likely randomly slapped together. To make this particular set of numbers Luhn compliant and error free, all we would have to do is change the all important “check digit” number from 1 to a 4, which would result in a total sum of 60, thereby becoming Luhn compliant.

If you want to test this mathematical theory out in real life, I recommend pulling out your own credit cards and spending a few seconds to run a quick Luhn screening on them just for your own amusement and education. Pretty neat isn’t it? If you want another credit card number to test on, try using the credit card number that is displayed on the cartoon “VIZA Card” [sic] that Bart Simpson is holding up in the graphic at the top right of this article - the card is in the name of “Rod Flanders”, and the credit card number is: 8525-4941-2525-4158. Tip: Just by looking at the prefix numbers you probably should already be able to tell that the account number’s completely random and fake.

Use The Luhn Formula To Valid Existing Accounts But Don’t Attempt To Create and Use Fake Credit Card Numbers

Now with this new found knowledge, keep in mind you still won’t be able to randomly generate genuine workable credit card numbers. The Luhn theory only allows you to generate mathematically compliant credit card numbers, not workable ones. Besides, without valid expiration dates, and valid CVV2, CVC2, or CID numbers (the special security codes printed on the back or front of credit cards as additional authentication measures), you still wouldn’t be able to legitimately use your self generated numbers to run credit transactions anyway.

Cracking the security codes found on credit cards is currently impossible. To calculate a workable 3 digit CVV2 security code, the algorithm requires a primary account number (PAN), the 4 digit expiration date, a special 3 digit service code, and a pair of DES keys. With such heavy encryption and billions to trillions of numerical possibilities, unless you have God-like mental processing power and a fleet of super computers at your disposal, you won’t be able to use brute force guessing attempts to crack the codes.

While it’s good to use this type of information to education yourself on the inner workings of credit cards and mathematical validation theory, it’s best to stay away from trying to further crack the secret of credit card codes to come up with free workable account numbers. Don’t use the Luhn Algorithm for anything else but personal entertainment and amusement.  Please don’t go around trying to generate fake credit card numbers on your own and trying to buy stuff with them. I know some of you out there may be tempted to try, but you’ll just get yourself in trouble.

It’s not easy finding the right career path in life. Many of our own perceptions on what makes a good profession is shaped and sometimes even warped by the views of our family, friends, and perhaps most significantly, by the media’s relentless spin. There are many jobs out there that may look attractive and rewarding on TV, but reality often pours cold water over hyped up expectations.

It’s interesting to me how if you asked any little kid what they wanted to be when they grew up, almost all would respond with answers like doctor, lawyer, hip hop rapper, or even President of the United States. Unfortunately for those little kids, the great majority of them will never fulfill their childhood dreams or live up to the great but unrealistic expectations they envisioned due to their personal circumstances. People pick jobs and careers for many reasons, but their choices are often shaped by their own hyped views regarding what is hot and what is not, and frequently fraught with inaccuracies. Unfortunately, during the high school and college years, the media greatly reinforces the naive and misguided mystique that surrounds certain professions to the detriment of future entrants into the work force. Oftentimes the hype of certain careers tend to greatly exceed the lucrativeness and fulfillment potential of reality.

The job market and popular careers choices have changed greatly over the years and what was once perhaps lucrative no longer is. Here’s my list of what I believe are the top 5 most overrated careers and professions. I’m sure there are many people who are happy and content in the following careers and perhaps enjoy professional and personal success, but I think there are also many of those in the following fields that feel they have been misled down the primrose path to frustration and work dissatisfaction. These conclusions are based on my own personal views, and gleaned from views expressed in books, online articles, websites, blogs, and through my interactions with friends from all walks of life and professions. For more relevant input and insight, take a look at U.S. News and World Report’s own list of the most overrated careers. While their list is more comprehensive and generally applicable, mine is more focused on my own personal and unique experiences.

The Five Most Overrated Careers, Jobs, and Professions In My Opinion:

1) Attorney - Don’t get me started about lawyers, law school, and the legal profession. I don’t have too many good things to say about the whole business of becoming a lawyer and the realities of working as one. I’m an attorney myself, but I’m currently trying to get out of the profession completely and enter the work from home online business for myself. I find the whole legal career path to be an unforgiving and personally unfulfilling line of work.

Unfortunately for new legal field entrants, they don’t usually realize the market for lawyers is extremely saturated until it is too late, and are already in too deep. Currently, there are already too many lawyers everywhere and even more on the way. These days it is very, very, very easy to become an attorney. Saddled with poor grades or terrible LSAT standardized test scores? No problem. There are more than 4 whopping tiers of law schools that continue to expand in size every year. There’s a guaranteed spot on the student roster for every wannabe or lackluster student who wants to play the lawyer card. These days, anyone can apply to law school to become a lawyer because there are no strict educational prerequisites involved. As an insider, I can assure you - there is absolutely nothing special about lawyers and the skills and training they allegedly possess - they are a dime a dozen. Unless you graduated from a top ten ranking law school or entered a difficult legal niche field such as tax or patent law, you better get used to a meager and unrewarding professional life. My advice is to stay away from law school and to do anything else but that.

Like many who decided to enter law school, I originally applied out of mere default and lack of educational options at the time. After all, I wasn’t much of a math or science person, and studying business seemed to be too general and broad of a choice at the time. Why not attend law school and become a high priced lawyer and make millions of dollars a year by taking on high profile and exciting celebrity cases, I thought? Why not invest myself into a career that will allow me to not only become rich, but utilize my skills to help uphold justice and assist people who need legal representation? After all, lawyers spend their days honorably debating before judges in prestigious court room settings before trial juries and television crews right? Wrong!

The legal profession is the most grossly distorted career choice in the history of careers. Thanks to the overzealous and over-hyped glory and glitz of Hollywood media productions, most of the public’s view of the legal profession is framed and distorted by entertainment inspired sources such as TV shows of past and present like Ally McBeal, JAG, The Practice, and Law and Order, and popular court room drama filled movies like A Few Good Men. The truth and reality is that the vast majority of lawyers rarely ever see the inside of a court room, working as paper pushing transactional attorneys instead. The ones that do apply their craft in the court room, known as litigation work, still spend the vast bulk of their time and efforts stuffed in their offices before a computer screen, typing away and performing grueling and monotonous research and writing. The work is tedious, stressful, time consuming, and frequently unrewarding.

In the working arena, lawyers often have to deal with the frustrating aspects of working with ungrateful and belligerent clients who refuse to pay or ignore the advice and suggestions of their own counsel. For small law firm attorneys, the average salary almost always falls well short of media inspired dramatization. Most of my friends who graduated from top 50 law schools ended up with massive student loans of more than $100,000 and winded up in mere $50,000 a year lawyer jobs for many years. For those who find themselves working at higher paying big firm positions, the hours are insanely taxing and terribly destructive for those trying to balance a family and social life as well. Being forced to work 80-100 or more hours a week as a big firm associate is not unusual as many are pressed into strict billable hour requirements. The need to pay off massive student loans often force many new attorney recruits into lifelong professional servitude, whereby they are compelled to sacrifice their lives, their health, and their own happiness for an unattainable dream of work and play balance in the legal profession. For every Johnny Cochran, Mark Geragos, or Gloria Allred personalities on cable TV, there are thousands of struggling attorneys out there saddled with massive student loans, wondering why they chose to enter such a saturated and unhappy field to begin with. My advice - go be a dentist or something. There’s a lot of money in that racket and the barriers to entry are much higher, making the health care field a much more prestigious and balanced choice.

2) Real Estate Agent - Thanks to the array of house flipping shows on television that suddenly sprouted in the last few years, everyone and their uncle now thinks they can and should become a real estate agent. During the last few years, I’ve seen nearly all of my friends in some fashion or another try to dabble in the real estate market and try their luck in helping others buy and sell homes. Many went on to take the easy breezy real estate exam and obtain their real estate license.

Unfortunately the ease and simplicity of entering the real estate field is one of the key causes of the real estate profession’s current decline (that, and the real estate housing bubble). Because it’s so easy to become a certified real estate agent, the barriers to entry are very low. As a result, real estate agents are everywhere and there is not enough real estate business to go around. Especially in this real estate downturn, agents are finding themselves faced with dwindling business opportunities and diminishing commission fees. Furthermore, with the growth of online housing listing sites like Zillow and Yahoo Real Estate, and the surging popularity of do it yourself resources, the importance of having a real estate agent will continue to decline and gradually phase out. With the growth of online real estate blogs and finance sites, it’s getting much easier for ordinary people to buy and sell their own house or property without the assistance of a professional real estate agent.

3) Chef - Here’s another overrated career field that has fallen prey to the reckless glamorization committed by television media. Thanks to foreign import culinary shows like Iron Chef, American cooking related programs on the Food Network like Rachel Ray, and the popularity of reality competition shows like Bravo channel’s America’s Top Chef, every aspiring amateur chef out there thinks he or she can strike it big as a future professional chef to the rich and famous.

I used to date this girl who was a pharmacy student. She had a passion for food and was on the verge of dumping her pharmacy school studies to pursue her lofty dream of becoming a famous television cooking personality or working as a future top chef at a five star restaurant somewhere. Fortunately for her, she discovered early on how little entry level chefs really made and abandoned her unrealistic pursuits for a more stable career as a pharmacist. The reality is that most chefs are mere assembly line cooks, churning out the same concoctions over and over, chopping and dicing away in a hot and sweaty kitchen in the back of some restaurant for hours and hours. Frequently, the work hours extend into the weekends and late evenings, depriving them of much of their extracurricular quality of life.

4) Full Time Blogger Or Online Entrepreneur - This is one hits close to home for me, but I have mixed feelings on those that choose to blog as a full time profession. While I personally receive a decent amount of passive income from my personal finance blog and credit card blog earnings, the vast majority of bloggers out there will probably never fulfill their full time blogging income aspirations. While it’s good to pursue one’s dream of working from home and never having to put on that suit and tie and “work for the man” any longer, the reality is that blogging full time is difficult, time consuming and requires substantial discipline, especially in the early stages when online advertisement and affiliate income motivation are hard to come by. The lack of commentary participation and the lack of traffic and feedback by readers can quickly cause the average aspiring blogger to lose hope early on. It takes a certain focused and dedicated individual to successfully develop his or her web based pipe dream into a full fledged online Internet marketing empire.

The path to future passive income riches definitely crosses through the Internet and through search engines like Google, but the path is fraught with competition and lonely times. It is possible to make some decent side income on the web, but the vast majority will never reach the online income needed to sustain a full time blogging position. That’s just reality. For the masses who think it’s easy to slap up a simple make money online Wordpress blog and generate millions of hits instantly, resulting in substantial Google Adsense revenue, they are wrong. It easy to start out as a part time blogger as the barriers to entry are very low, but it’s hard to make a true full time living out of it.

5) Teacher - Working as a teacher is one of the noblest and most honorable jobs out there, but in terms of financial and perhaps even personal rewards, it is sorely lacking. Like stay at home moms, teachers are grossly underpaid for their efforts and the invaluable influence and steerage they have on the next generation of children and students. The thought of being allowed to take entire summers off as a teacher may be tempting, but the reality is that most teachers work during the off season as well - performing summer school work, tutoring, or volunteering their time for education related endeavors. For those that wind up teaching toddlers or grade school students, working as a teacher is akin to working as a full time babysitter. Not only do you have to teach the students something productive, but you also have to deal with their crazy behaviors, emotional outbursts, rebellious attitudes, and sometimes even violent propensities.

I have quite a few female friends who work as junior high and public high school teachers and they frequently seem worn out and utterly exhausted due to their jobs. While most enjoy their work somewhat, many are frustrated at the bureaucracy and the governmental policies that hinder their ability to truly make a difference in the lives of students as a whole. Many of my female teacher friends frequently gripe and complain about the inefficient aftermath of the No Child Left Behind Act and how the governmental policy has forced many of them to waste their time and limited efforts and resources on so-called “hopeless students”. These teachers want to make a difference and help promising students grow to their full potentials, but many of them find their hands hopelessly bound by standardized guideline requirements and expectations. Instead of being able to help gifted and talented students grow to the best of their abilities by giving them the educational attention they need to advance, much of the No Child Left Behind Act efforts are spent trying to discipline and reform issue prone students who refuse to learn at the same speed and pace as classmates in the same age group. Clearly, it’s a broken policy that demands major reform.

Well it’s the long Memorial Day weekend again. Not only is this annual occasion significant to me because it always occurs around the same time as my birthday, it’s also one of the important federal holidays set aside by our United States government to honor those men and women of past and present who laid down their lives during the course of their great service to our country. As the grand puba of all knowledge, the great Wikipedia notes that Memorial Day was originally enacted to honor the northern Union soldiers after the American Civil War but has been enlarged to cover all American military casualties of any war or military action.

This post today is not meant to be a political statement. In fact, I hold rather neutral opinions about the U.S. government’s positions and the U.S. military’s actions in the ongoing war in the Middle East. I’m neither supportive, nor am I really against it. I’m not a military strategist, nor am I a foreign policy buff. While I watch and follow CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News, and have developed my own viewpoints like any other guy, I don’t claim to know the answers. So I leave the big foreign policy and homeland defense decisions to the elected bigwigs in Washington D.C. While my foreign policy views are both non committal and neutral, when it comes to supporting our patriotic troops, I’m in it 100%. I think they deserve our full support and admiration, and that includes past veterans, present troops coming back home, and future military personnel who have yet to enter the line of duty.

Our Military Soldiers Are Real People With Real Stories - And Not Just Faceless Statistics

Shortly after law school and my judicial clerkship with a trial court judge, I obtained a job to work as an appellate attorney at the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs in Washington D.C. While I was there I was exposed to the countless stories and lives of the many men and women who fought and sacrificed for our country during her times of need. Because I handled appeals stemming from military service connection and disability rating claims for veterans, I spent my working days reading and becoming intimately aware of war time realities and shared tragedies of our past veterans. While not all injuries or medical ailments sustained by military disability claimants were during the course of an armed conflict overseas, many were. For those who think the current soldiers fighting in the Iraqi and Afghanistan conflict today are sustaining significant casualties or massive injuries, the numbers pale in comparison to the devastating number of lives and limbs lost during past major wars - most notably during the Vietnam War.

The Vietnam War era was a terrible time in our history. Many of the soldiers came back with not only physical bodily damage from lost limbs, impaired sensory organs, or Agent Orange herbicide related diseases, a large number developed post traumatic stress syndrome after having witnessed all sorts of psychologically disturbing wartime brutality overseas. Much of today’s neighborhood to neighborhood close quarters combat experiences in the troubled areas of the Middle East are censored and filtered out by our sanitized television, print, and governmental media so that much of the information never reaches the American public. But as someone who has worked closely with such personal stories and accounts of battles and military engagements during my time of processing veteran disability claims, I’ve learned to greatly appreciate the sacrifices our fighting forces have made for our great nation.

While due to the backlogged and procedural nature of veteran disability cases, and due to the way past injuries and diseases tend to deteriorate over time, many of the appeals cases I handled arose from veterans who served honorably in wars as far back as the Vietnam War and World War II. At the time I was working at the Department of Veteran Affairs in Washington D.C., the war against terrorist forces in Afghanistan and later the invasion and occupation/liberation of Iraq (depending on how you look at it) had not resulted in a significant influx of wartime injuries or casualties yet. But since I’ve left the agency, I know the federal department is now facing a huge rush of returning soldiers from this new war our country is fighting. I can only hope we all continue to throw our admiration and support for our American military men and women as they dutifully do their part in helping to keep this country safe and protect our interests worldwide.

Supporting Our Troops and Veterans Is Not A Political Statement, But A Show Of Respect For The Honorable Sacrifices Made By Those Who Came and Served Before Us

I think many people and anti-war supporters seem to adopt the suggestive notion that somehow acknowledging verbal or written support for our fighting troops and veterans equates to an agreement or condonement of the current George W. Bush foreign policy or political decisions made regarding the nation’s fight against terrorism in the Middle East. Far from it. I support our troops and want to honor their actions because they are putting their lives in harms way for citizens and even non citizens living in the United States like you and I. While some of the soldiers had a choice, others had their choices made for them. I doubt most of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and soldiers from the Marines really wanted to fight abroad, but they made a noble commitment to serve their country should they be called upon to do so. They are simply doing their job and trying to do it the best they can, amidst the political maneuverings in Congress and the White House, the election season wrangling between the Democrats and Republicans, and amidst the dangerous sectarian violence that still plagues the Middle East.

So as we all sit within the comforts, shelter, and protection of our own nation’s borders, let’s not forget the fighting men and women who are still out there doing their jobs, putting their futures and lives on stake for you and I. While we all worry about less life threatening and comparatively petty matters closer to home such as rising gas prices, savings accounts, Roth IRA’s, credit scores, and credit card bills, there are young and old committed military families out there who just want their fathers, sons, and even moms and daughters to come back home in one piece. You don’t have to support the war to support our troops. You don’t even have to wave an American flag high or wear an American flag pin on your suit collar to support our troops. All you have to do is honor the sacrifices made by our past and present veterans in your hearts, and give them all the courtesy, admiration, and respect deserved by those who have served their country dutifully in a time of need. So while we all take this three day Memorial Day weekend to go on a road trip to visit the beach, or see our friends and family, remember, someone out there needs your thoughts and prayers.

I recently read a very interesting online article from an English (United Kingdom) website today called the Times Online (I know it’s a well known site for British people, but I’ve never heard of it before). While the views expressed seem to come from a European perspective, with some interesting but different English terminology used in the comments section such as “blokes” and “birds” (translation: “guys” and “gals”), much of the opinion piece is also applicable to the American experience. The article addressed the familiar but sometimes complicated question of why today’s modern men seem reluctant, burdened, or feel socially awkward when it comes to talking about their moms or when it comes to actually calling them on a regular basis.

Today was Mother’s Day so I did manage to contact my mother who lives overseas with my dad to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. Of course she was quite surprised but happy to hear my message (she is my mom after all), but I think she mostly enjoyed the rarity of it all. I can’t remember the last time I ever gave her a present or anything on Mother’s day (during elementary school maybe), but I think on some level she understands that grown up sons at some point in their lives must exercise that desired financial and social independence from their parents, particularly from their moms. While I do love my mom to death, it is true - there is also something very unattractive and rather unhealthy for a man who is too clingy with his mother and refuses to cut the proverbial umbilical cord.

In General, Boys, Men, and Sons Have A Primitive But Instinctively Driven Desire To Seek Social and Financial Independence From Their Parental Guardians

This common practice and social phenomenon of sons never calling their mothers and only doing so when they actually need something from them seems to be quite prevalent. Haven’t you seen the recent Comcast Digital Voice mother’s day commercial? The commercial was advertising the company’s new digital phone service and was encouraging all viewers, but men in particular, to sign up with Comcast phone access this mother’s day so they could give their mothers a call and wish them well. The funny commercial had scenes of mothers of all countries and languages clutching phones to their ears and systemically fainting to the ground in disbelief as the voices of their sons sounded through the ear pieces. The humorous punch line is that sons never call, thus when they do, it creates such a monumental shock to the mothers that it leaves them dumbfounded.

But the truth of the matter is that most of the male friends I know, myself included rarely call or contact our moms. The more financially and socially independent men tend to be more self reliant and don’t feel the need to call their moms on a daily, weekly or even semi regular basis to talk about nothing in particular. If you asked me when was the last time that I actually called my mom or either parent over the phone, and not counting the times they called me first, I would have to offer you an embarrassed guilty look and say over 6 months to a 1 year ago. Ever since I became financially independent after graduate school and no longer needed to beg my parents for money, I’ve relied on my own abilities to eek out a living. Since then I’ve learned to take care of myself, gotten used to setting my own schedule, arranging my own meals, and keeping myself out of trouble. Everytime my parents call (especially when it’s my mom), I innately feel like I just reverted back to a childlike state in which I am still nagged and coddled by my guardians. Every time my dad calls he always wants to chat about my job or where I’m going with my life professionally and occupationally. But everytime the phone gets handed off to my mom, she starts chatting incessantly and repetitively about my diet, what I eat, what I shouldn’t eat, the importance of needing to cook for myself, and my sleeping habits. The nagging about my living lifestyle could seriously go on and on for hours if I didn’t conclude it at some point. Everytime I talk to them I feel like I’m in elementary school again, but the fact of the matter is I’m not. I’m a grown adult, with a full time job, who is paying the rent, taking care of the bills, and fending for myself as a man should.

The Social Difference Between How Grown Up Sons and Daughters Treat Their Parents

Sexist, stereotypical or not, I think most girls and women are closer to their mothers than boys and men are. Daughters simply are more driven to call their mothers on a regular basis and chat about random things like their eating habits, living habits, who they are seeing, or whether they are happy or not. It’s probably the inherent differences in male and female nature that explain why they treat their parents so differently once they’ve left the family nest. Perhaps women are simply more inclined to pick up the phone and call their moms or anyone else for that matter due to the lifetime motherly bond between them that’s never broken or altered. Maybe it’s how we are molded when we are young - daughters are generally raised to become nurturers, gatherers, and future mothers, while men are usually raised to become grown up hunters, and caretakers of their future brood. When I pick up the phone, I call a person for a specific purpose and not just to shoot the breeze. I always find it strange when some people call for no reason at all then just to chat.

When I was young, I always saw emotional reliance and financial dependence on my parents as a tremendous weakness. My view was that I would never become my own man until I could break away from them and financially fend for myself. I still hold that view today and see single friends in their early and mid 30’s who are still living at home with their moms and dads as pretty strange. I understand there are key differences in certain European, Asian, and Indian cultures whereby sons are expected to live at home with the parents until they marry, but I’m viewing all of this mostly through the classic American perspective that encourages independence, especially when it comes to males. I love my mom very much and she’s done a wonderful job of letting her two sons go off into the world on their own, but I know many other moms out there have trouble letting their little boys become men. It’s important to keep your little solider safe when he is young, but at some point you have to kick him out of the nest for his own good. The best thing my mom ever did for me was to let me be, and let me make mistakes and learn on my own.

Personally, I think it’s natural for men to want to break away from their mom’s embrace at some point. It’s all part of the growing up and rite of passage experience for males. How is he expected to one day take care of his own family if he cannot assert his own independence and take care of himself before letting others help take care of him. Besides, what woman would want a man who incessantly clings onto his mother? I know some women out there claim that they desire a man who loves his mom and treats her well, but obviously what women wouldn’t? Being kind and treating one’s mom well is one thing, but being a mama’s boy and always calling the mom to get her advice and approval is a little strange when the guy starts to reach his 30’s, 40’s or even 50’s. Living at home as a single male and having your mom still cook your food, do your laundry, and pick up after you just seems extremely childish. I have no problem with a girl or daughter calling her mom regularly after marriage, but when I hear about men who constantly feel the need to call their moms to get approvals or give updates, I simply find them to be very wimpy, for a lack of a better word. My mom will always be my mom and she will always have a special place in my personal hierarchy of women, but at some point, sons have to grow up and join the world of men and inevitably leave their moms behind to a certain degree. However, I will always treat my mom with love and respect - but not as a little boy, but as a grown up, financially independent man.