By Peter Andrew
A couple of years ago, some friends of ours had a problem. The vehicle they relied upon to earn a big chunk of their income had broken down in a terminal sort of way, and they didn't have quite enough savings for a replacement. So I called and offered to lend them the $1,000 or so they were short. The relief and happiness in their voices was easily worth a thousand bucks. I followed up with an email:
Glad we could help out. Just two conditions over the loan.
First, let's keep it between the four of us (the two of them and my partner and me); nobody else needs to know, though there's no problem if you've already told someone. And, secondly, we mustn't let it get in the way of our friendship. With luck, you'll be able to pay us back fairly easily, but we really don't care if it takes 10 years or longer. So don't ever avoid seeing us just because you're worried we'll be nagging you over it. We never will.
Make loan, think gift
In my head, the loan was a gift, though I couldn't tell them that because they'd never have taken it. If I eventually got the money back, that would be a fine surprise, but it wasn't an expectation. Had it been so, and I'd later been disappointed, it would have cost me two friendships that were worth way more than a grand. Shakespeare made a sound point in "Hamlet" when he wrote, "Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend."Read the full article »