Money Blue Book

Well it’s the long Memorial Day weekend again. Not only is this annual occasion significant to me because it always occurs around the same time as my birthday, it’s also one of the important federal holidays set aside by our United States government to honor those men and women of past and present who laid down their lives during the course of their great service to our country. As the grand puba of all knowledge, the great Wikipedia notes that Memorial Day was originally enacted to honor the northern Union soldiers after the American Civil War but has been enlarged to cover all American military casualties of any war or military action.

This post today is not meant to be a political statement. In fact, I hold rather neutral opinions about the U.S. government’s positions and the U.S. military’s actions in the ongoing war in the Middle East. I’m neither supportive, nor am I really against it. I’m not a military strategist, nor am I a foreign policy buff. While I watch and follow CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News, and have developed my own viewpoints like any other guy, I don’t claim to know the answers. So I leave the big foreign policy and homeland defense decisions to the elected bigwigs in Washington D.C. While my foreign policy views are both non committal and neutral, when it comes to supporting our patriotic troops, I’m in it 100%. I think they deserve our full support and admiration, and that includes past veterans, present troops coming back home, and future military personnel who have yet to enter the line of duty.

Our Military Soldiers Are Real People With Real Stories – And Not Just Faceless Statistics

Shortly after law school and my judicial clerkship with a trial court judge, I obtained a job to work as an appellate attorney at the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs in Washington D.C. While I was there I was exposed to the countless stories and lives of the many men and women who fought and sacrificed for our country during her times of need. Because I handled appeals stemming from military service connection and disability rating claims for veterans, I spent my working days reading and becoming intimately aware of war time realities and shared tragedies of our past veterans. While not all injuries or medical ailments sustained by military disability claimants were during the course of an armed conflict overseas, many were. For those who think the current soldiers fighting in the Iraqi and Afghanistan conflict today are sustaining significant casualties or massive injuries, the numbers pale in comparison to the devastating number of lives and limbs lost during past major wars – most notably during the Vietnam War.

The Vietnam War era was a terrible time in our history. Many of the soldiers came back with not only physical bodily damage from lost limbs, impaired sensory organs, or Agent Orange herbicide related diseases, a large number developed post traumatic stress syndrome after having witnessed all sorts of psychologically disturbing wartime brutality overseas. Much of today’s neighborhood to neighborhood close quarters combat experiences in the troubled areas of the Middle East are censored and filtered out by our sanitized television, print, and governmental media so that much of the information never reaches the American public. But as someone who has worked closely with such personal stories and accounts of battles and military engagements during my time of processing veteran disability claims, I’ve learned to greatly appreciate the sacrifices our fighting forces have made for our great nation.

While due to the backlogged and procedural nature of veteran disability cases, and due to the way past injuries and diseases tend to deteriorate over time, many of the appeals cases I handled arose from veterans who served honorably in wars as far back as the Vietnam War and World War II. At the time I was working at the Department of Veteran Affairs in Washington D.C., the war against terrorist forces in Afghanistan and later the invasion and occupation/liberation of Iraq (depending on how you look at it) had not resulted in a significant influx of wartime injuries or casualties yet. But since I’ve left the agency, I know the federal department is now facing a huge rush of returning soldiers from this new war our country is fighting. I can only hope we all continue to throw our admiration and support for our American military men and women as they dutifully do their part in helping to keep this country safe and protect our interests worldwide.

Supporting Our Troops and Veterans Is Not A Political Statement, But A Show Of Respect For The Honorable Sacrifices Made By Those Who Came and Served Before Us

I think many people and anti-war supporters seem to adopt the suggestive notion that somehow acknowledging verbal or written support for our fighting troops and veterans equates to an agreement or condonement of the current George W. Bush foreign policy or political decisions made regarding the nation’s fight against terrorism in the Middle East. Far from it. I support our troops and want to honor their actions because they are putting their lives in harms way for citizens and even non citizens living in the United States like you and I. While some of the soldiers had a choice, others had their choices made for them. I doubt most of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and soldiers from the Marines really wanted to fight abroad, but they made a noble commitment to serve their country should they be called upon to do so. They are simply doing their job and trying to do it the best they can, amidst the political maneuverings in Congress and the White House, the election season wrangling between the Democrats and Republicans, and amidst the dangerous sectarian violence that still plagues the Middle East.

So as we all sit within the comforts, shelter, and protection of our own nation’s borders, let’s not forget the fighting men and women who are still out there doing their jobs, putting their futures and lives on stake for you and I. While we all worry about less life threatening and comparatively petty matters closer to home such as rising gas prices, savings accounts, Roth IRA’s, credit scores, and credit card bills, there are young and old committed military families out there who just want their fathers, sons, and even moms and daughters to come back home in one piece. You don’t have to support the war to support our troops. You don’t even have to wave an American flag high or wear an American flag pin on your suit collar to support our troops. All you have to do is honor the sacrifices made by our past and present veterans in your hearts, and give them all the courtesy, admiration, and respect deserved by those who have served their country dutifully in a time of need. So while we all take this three day Memorial Day weekend to go on a road trip to visit the beach, or see our friends and family, remember, someone out there needs your thoughts and prayers.

I recently read a very interesting online article from an English (United Kingdom) website today called the Times Online (I know it’s a well known site for British people, but I’ve never heard of it before). While the views expressed seem to come from a European perspective, with some interesting but different English terminology used in the comments section such as “blokes” and “birds” (translation: “guys” and “gals”), much of the opinion piece is also applicable to the American experience. The article addressed the familiar but sometimes complicated question of why today’s modern men seem reluctant, burdened, or feel socially awkward when it comes to talking about their moms or when it comes to actually calling them on a regular basis.

Today was Mother’s Day so I did manage to contact my mother who lives overseas with my dad to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. Of course she was quite surprised but happy to hear my message (she is my mom after all), but I think she mostly enjoyed the rarity of it all. I can’t remember the last time I ever gave her a present or anything on Mother’s day (during elementary school maybe), but I think on some level she understands that grown up sons at some point in their lives must exercise that desired financial and social independence from their parents, particularly from their moms. While I do love my mom to death, it is true – there is also something very unattractive and rather unhealthy for a man who is too clingy with his mother and refuses to cut the proverbial umbilical cord.

In General, Boys, Men, and Sons Have A Primitive But Instinctively Driven Desire To Seek Social and Financial Independence From Their Parental Guardians

This common practice and social phenomenon of sons never calling their mothers and only doing so when they actually need something from them seems to be quite prevalent. Haven’t you seen the recent Comcast Digital Voice mother’s day commercial? The commercial was advertising the company’s new digital phone service and was encouraging all viewers, but men in particular, to sign up with Comcast phone access this mother’s day so they could give their mothers a call and wish them well. The funny commercial had scenes of mothers of all countries and languages clutching phones to their ears and systemically fainting to the ground in disbelief as the voices of their sons sounded through the ear pieces. The humorous punch line is that sons never call, thus when they do, it creates such a monumental shock to the mothers that it leaves them dumbfounded.

But the truth of the matter is that most of the male friends I know, myself included rarely call or contact our moms. The more financially and socially independent men tend to be more self reliant and don’t feel the need to call their moms on a daily, weekly or even semi regular basis to talk about nothing in particular. If you asked me when was the last time that I actually called my mom or either parent over the phone, and not counting the times they called me first, I would have to offer you an embarrassed guilty look and say over 6 months to a 1 year ago. Ever since I became financially independent after graduate school and no longer needed to beg my parents for money, I’ve relied on my own abilities to eek out a living. Since then I’ve learned to take care of myself, gotten used to setting my own schedule, arranging my own meals, and keeping myself out of trouble. Everytime my parents call (especially when it’s my mom), I innately feel like I just reverted back to a childlike state in which I am still nagged and coddled by my guardians. Every time my dad calls he always wants to chat about my job or where I’m going with my life professionally and occupationally. But everytime the phone gets handed off to my mom, she starts chatting incessantly and repetitively about my diet, what I eat, what I shouldn’t eat, the importance of needing to cook for myself, and my sleeping habits. The nagging about my living lifestyle could seriously go on and on for hours if I didn’t conclude it at some point. Everytime I talk to them I feel like I’m in elementary school again, but the fact of the matter is I’m not. I’m a grown adult, with a full time job, who is paying the rent, taking care of the bills, and fending for myself as a man should.

The Social Difference Between How Grown Up Sons and Daughters Treat Their Parents

Sexist, stereotypical or not, I think most girls and women are closer to their mothers than boys and men are. Daughters simply are more driven to call their mothers on a regular basis and chat about random things like their eating habits, living habits, who they are seeing, or whether they are happy or not. It’s probably the inherent differences in male and female nature that explain why they treat their parents so differently once they’ve left the family nest. Perhaps women are simply more inclined to pick up the phone and call their moms or anyone else for that matter due to the lifetime motherly bond between them that’s never broken or altered. Maybe it’s how we are molded when we are young – daughters are generally raised to become nurturers, gatherers, and future mothers, while men are usually raised to become grown up hunters, and caretakers of their future brood. When I pick up the phone, I call a person for a specific purpose and not just to shoot the breeze. I always find it strange when some people call for no reason at all then just to chat.

When I was young, I always saw emotional reliance and financial dependence on my parents as a tremendous weakness. My view was that I would never become my own man until I could break away from them and financially fend for myself. I still hold that view today and see single friends in their early and mid 30’s who are still living at home with their moms and dads as pretty strange. I understand there are key differences in certain European, Asian, and Indian cultures whereby sons are expected to live at home with the parents until they marry, but I’m viewing all of this mostly through the classic American perspective that encourages independence, especially when it comes to males. I love my mom very much and she’s done a wonderful job of letting her two sons go off into the world on their own, but I know many other moms out there have trouble letting their little boys become men. It’s important to keep your little solider safe when he is young, but at some point you have to kick him out of the nest for his own good. The best thing my mom ever did for me was to let me be, and let me make mistakes and learn on my own.

Personally, I think it’s natural for men to want to break away from their mom’s embrace at some point. It’s all part of the growing up and rite of passage experience for males. How is he expected to one day take care of his own family if he cannot assert his own independence and take care of himself before letting others help take care of him. Besides, what woman would want a man who incessantly clings onto his mother? I know some women out there claim that they desire a man who loves his mom and treats her well, but obviously what women wouldn’t? Being kind and treating one’s mom well is one thing, but being a mama’s boy and always calling the mom to get her advice and approval is a little strange when the guy starts to reach his 30’s, 40’s or even 50’s. Living at home as a single male and having your mom still cook your food, do your laundry, and pick up after you just seems extremely childish. I have no problem with a girl or daughter calling her mom regularly after marriage, but when I hear about men who constantly feel the need to call their moms to get approvals or give updates, I simply find them to be very wimpy, for a lack of a better word. My mom will always be my mom and she will always have a special place in my personal hierarchy of women, but at some point, sons have to grow up and join the world of men and inevitably leave their moms behind to a certain degree. However, I will always treat my mom with love and respect – but not as a little boy, but as a grown up, financially independent man.

Whenever I see a predatory tow truck driver or a parking meter maid strolling by, I just want to roll down my window quickly and yell out – “Hey you! Go (*bleep*) yourself you (*bleep bleep*)!”

As you can tell, I am not too fond of tow truck drivers. My disdain also carries over to others in the parking profession, including but not limited to opportunistic car booters and sneaky meter maids who dart from car to car with their little hand held tri-corder gadgets, tucking tickets under windshield wipers and escaping before the driver comes back and catches them in the act. While these parking ticketers bug me somewhat, they don’t irritate me as much as tow truck drivers. Perhaps it’s because parking ticket fines are usually not as financially hefty or as personally offensive as getting your car manhandled and forcibly hauled away by a stranger. Most of the time, I see tow truck drivers as nothing but conniving, predatory, and opportunistic vultures who feast on the vulnerable and distracted plight of unsuspecting drivers.

Just Watching Others Get Their Cars Towed In Their Absence Irritates Me

A few years ago I lived near a shopping center located next to a major Metro subway station. Every morning as I walked to the station to take the train to work, I witnessed the daily spectacle of tow truck sharks preying on those who failed to notice the no parking warning signs for non patrons. At the start of every morning rush, like clockwork precision, several red tow trucks would park themselves in partially hidden locations throughout the shopping center parking lot, embed themselves among the other cars, and lie in wait for subway commuters to improperly park their cars and walk away. Oftentimes as I walked by their tow trucks, I could see the drivers eating their breakfast sandwiches behind the steering wheel as they waited. As soon as the commuters had walked out of sight and demonstrated that they weren’t parking their cars so they could shop at a plaza store, the tow trucks would take turns swooping in, jacking up each vehicle one by one, and speeding away with their precious cargo like a thief in the night – racking up an instant $150 towing fee for each car, plus an extra $25 per day service charge for the cost of daily impounding. What a lucrative but conniving racket.

The livelihood of tow truck drivers is based on their ability to successfully hide in the bushes with their getaway vehicles and lie in wait for hapless drivers to make a parking mistake or slip up. In their eyes, a breach is a breach – if you park past a certain white line, that means you’re going to get towed – there’s little mercy. When that happens, it’s almost a given that at least one tow truck vulture will pop out from the shadows and holler “Gotcha!” as he gleefully impounds your vehicle with cranes and hauls it away to the junkyard. I don’t really care much for their self righteous claims that they are simply doing their jobs. They purport to follow the law and abide by no parking signs, but the reality is that oftentimes these warnings signs are not always sufficiently clear, evident, or easily understandable. The whole towing business is absolutely ripe for unchecked, unaccountable, and abusive practices.

A&E’s Parking Wars Reality Television Show Tries To Humanize The Entertaining Lives Of Tow Truck Drivers, Car Booters, and Meter Maids – But They Still Come Off As Jerks, Albeit Funny Jerks

I guess the world of reality TV shows has finally come down to this – an entire show devoted to the people we all love to hate. Yes, they get yelled at, cursed at, bird flipped, and harassed, but apparently they have feelings too as well as stories to tell. The A&E Channel has released a not-so-new anymore show called Parking Wars that follows the daily working lives of parking meter maids, tow truck drivers, and grunts who make a living from slapping indestructible boots onto vehicle wheels. For those who’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to work on the seedy side of the parking business, this show does a good job of telling it like it is – through the daily lenses of the ticketers and the towers.

While the show infuses the parking meter maids and tow truck drivers with some personality and offers a glimpse into their gritty service with a smile lifestyle, they still come off as predatory and opportunistic hounds who howl with delight when they successfully snag and trap a potential victim – a person who probably was simply at the wrong spot at the wrong time. It’s clear these vultures get a kick from handing out tickets and I’m sure they feel a rush of superior adrenaline when they get to flex their powerful authority by taking away some one’s valuable vehicular possession. Street signs confusing or yellow no parking lines not easily apparent? Tough luck! Ticket and tow, and ask questions later – for they are the law. After all, what is the ordinary layperson going to do – spend thousands of hopeless dollars and file a lawsuit over a $200 towing charge or a $300 booted car fee?

In an episode of Parking Wars, the camera trailed one particular meter maid as she ducked behind a building corner and waited for the right opportunity to pounce – taking a few moments to bask in the inquisitive glory of the A&E camera crew. It was 3:55 p.m. on a weekday and she was waiting near a downtown city street that was close to rush hour time. According to warning signs, street parking was prohibited at the start of rush hour, designated at 4:00 p.m. The parking girl chatted away about how much of a rush she got from ticketing people and the excitement of giving them out. As soon as her watch ticked 4:00 p.m., she eagerly dashed out to begin her ticketing raid, working her way from one side of the street and down the row of parked cars that were now illegally parked on the street. In the distance the camera crew could see a few worried drivers run towards their vehicles, trying to beat the parking violation clock. Some successfully ducked into their vehicles and drove off before their cars were ticketed while others beat it only by a few minutes. One driver who received a ticket only a few seconds before he arrived back protested. However, the parking meter maid was unrelenting and refused to rescind tickets already written.

In one case we had two individuals who verbally protested their ticket concerns to the meter maid over a broken and easily missed no parking sign that was literally dangling upside down. However, their complaints fell on deaf ears as the quota driven ticketing attendant offered no sympathy. Those drivers who parked in the spot guarded by the upside down, broken sign perhaps had a very legitimate lack of proper notice defense. A reasonable driver would not have been able to read the signs as they may not have been readily apparent to a reasonable person. I recently experienced a similar parking ticket scenario. I received a small parking ticket in a neighborhood where there were no visible signs denoting the side street I was parked on as restricted parking. While there were signs elsewhere, there were none readily apparent where I had parked. Luckily I had my digital camera on me at the time, which I used to take photographs of my parked vehicle and the surrounding signs and street shots to prove my case. However, other people are not always as fortunate and most are at the authoritative whims and mercy of parking ticketers.

It’s A Rude And Dirty Job But Somebody Has To Do It… I Suppose

Yes they are financial predators that profit from the absent-mindedness of hapless drivers but I suppose they do serve a legitimate societal purpose. None of them are ever going to win a popularity contest but on some level I suppose they are just dutifully doing their job. After all, some do come to our rescue and save drivers who are stuck in a ditch or have a flat tire on the side of the road, and I’m sure some do a great job of clearing away road blockages and making our highways and local streets more passable. A tow truck did come to my rescue when I spun off the icy highway and into a ditch in upstate New York during one particularly bad winter storm last year. Occasionally, commendable credit is due.

But my biggest concern with the parking authority is that oftentimes, drivers are powerless to protect themselves against improper tows, unfair tickets, or even against scrape and scratch damages to our vehicles caused by improper and negligent towing techniques. Oftentimes it’s simply your word against theirs. I suppose the only real solution is to just stay out of their way if possible. Follow street signs to the letter, timely feed the meters, and don’t park in a spot if you have any doubts. That way, none of us will ever have to learn our parking lessons the hard way and find ourselves as entertaining sideshow victims on Parking Wars.

This is not really a blog about my religious beliefs but what is Easter Sunday without writing a post about money and God?

Many Christians may have spent the morning waking up early to attend Easter Sunday service. Although I did not attend this year, my church chose to celebrate the early morning occasion by holding special holiday services in the great outdoors at a lakeside location in Columbia, Maryland where the whole congregation could worship together with the tranquility of nature.

For non Christians and those unfamiliar with the religious concept of Easter, allow me to explain why the holiday is so important to Christians. Well for starters, it doesn’t revolve around the Easter bunny and her basket of Easter eggs. I have no idea how a cuddly rabbit and her loot became the commercialized focus of the Easter holiday, in the same way I am unclear as to how Santa Claus became the figurehead of Christmas, the other major Christian holiday. But the reason why Easter is important to Christian church goers is because it commemorates and observes the third day that Jesus Christ rose from the dead and became resurrected after His crucifixion by the masses. While the day is not filled with presents and celebrated with as much shopping related hype as Christmas, Easter is actually the most important Christian holiday because it remembers the day in history that Christ fulfilled His destiny to become the living sacrifice for the sins of all mankind.

Many ordinary folks tend to overlook the significance of this holiday. I don’t blame them. It’s not a particularly exciting holiday in the secular world. But it’s an incredibly important day because it goes to the very heart of the Christian belief. Easter is the day that we pray to God to thank Him for the goodness He has bestowed on our lives, and to thank him for the continual love that inspired Him originally to send His only son to suffer and die on the cross for us. To non-Christians it may not make much sense, but for myself as a Christian and a believer, it is a very personal day. Through Christ I feel relieved and forgiven for much of the ethical and moral dilemmas of day to day life.

The Eternal Struggle Between Mankind’s Love of Material Wealth and The Love Of God

One of the biggest struggles of all believers has always been the inevitable tension between the love for wealth and the love for God. It might sound strange and funny to be in love with money, but the fact of the matter is that many of us worship wealth. We love to make it, grow it, dream about it, invest it, save it, protect it, and find ways to spend it. Part time finance bloggers such as myself might know more about this than anyone else. We make it our part time duty to write and blog regularly about the topic of money. It’s almost natural for us to become obsessed with the subject of growing our financial wealth. But for those of us who are also Christian, sometimes this fascination can eclipse our humble obligation and duty to put God before everything else.

In fact, this very tension was addressed in the Bible’s New Testament Book of Matthew, Chapter 19, when Jesus Christ was approached by a wealthy man looking for guidance on what he could do to secure his entrance to heaven after his passing. Christ immediately instructed the young man to sell all of his possessions and give them to the poor before attempting to pursue God. Christ knew very well that as feeble minded, obsessed, and greedy individuals, it was in our fallible and sinful nature to pursue material wealth and possessions above all else. In fact, upon hearing that he would need to give up all of his wealth to follow Christ, the wealthy young man walked away sad, because he knew giving up his riches would not be easy – his vast wealth meant he had more to lose.

Thus it rings true – it is much easier to seek God when we are poor and downtrodden because we have less to sacrifice. But as our financial wealth grows, it’s the natural tendency to become misguided and blinded with the comforts that material possessions bring. Christ knew this was the case when He later preached to His disciple students:

“I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:23 NIV.

The statement wouldn’t be so sad if it weren’t so true. I have met very few Christians in my life who I believed could truly give up all of their material possessions, fancy home electronics, and wealthy lifestyle for the promise of ephemeral treasures in the afterlife. In this ultra consumerism culture, we have grown so materially self indulgent with our trinkets and treasures that many of us don’t seem to heed the promises that God has laid before us anymore. We are all too easily corrupted by the pursuit of financial riches and worldly things that we have become blind and deaf to God’s words and admonishments. The more our personal wealth grows, the more we seem to to rely on our own abilities and our own financial means to carry us through life’s difficulties, and we stop seeking God’s guidance and blessings.

My Confession – The More Success I Have, The More I Seem To Stray From Church

I am by no means rich or even close to it, but I do believe it would be very difficult for a wealthy individual to genuinely and faithfully follow Christ’s teachings.

A few years ago, I was just out of school and struggled financially so during that time I attended church more regularly. I was active in the church, participated in bible studies, attended church fellowship events, and even joined the church praise worship band as the drummer. Now that I am beginning to thrive again financially and professionally, I find myself drifting away and attending church less and less. I am starting to spend more time tending to my job, my side businesses and my money making ventures, rather than attending Sunday church services or even praying. Even blogging has taken away much of the time I used to have for church fellowship events and I find myself more and more cut off from the church body of Christ. I truly am more fallible than I had imagined.

My pursuit for the meaning of wealth has seemed to blind me to what God has provided for me. I know God has a purpose and a plan for me, but my human ways seem to have blinded me yet again. Deep down inside I know that my money filled world will ultimately be empty without Him, but that doesn’t seem to have stopped me from wandering away from Him like a rebellious sheep. I do hope and pray that I will find my way back. This Easter Day, I hope I can refocus back on God and manage to put Him in first place in my life again. I know that God will never stop dishing out the blessings, but I do hope He’ll help me find a way to re-prioritize my life for the better.